All your four tyres need to be in perfect shape and balance in order to deliver.
Our life is like a car, it needs to be in perfect balance too, if you want to have a happy and fulfilling one, if you want a safe and joyful ride. If you don’t keep it in great shape and in every area, it will break down. Even if you have the best car, even if you have a Ferrari.
It’s just impossible to do generally well, if you don’t keep your life in balance. If some aspects of your life suffer and you ignore the signs and don’t fix it, soon you’ll notice that everything starts falling apart. All things are connected in life. Everything compliments each other.
Like with a car. Even if you have a Ferrari… but if you have even one flat tyre, you can’t drive off anyway, or if you do, how far would you really get? And how far without completely running it down? Or if you don’t put a petrol or oil, it is impossible to even drive off, sooner or later you burn down the engine. Every part needs its own attention and care.
And it is the same with our lives, the relationships we have with one another or with ourselves. If some part of our life suffers and doesn’t get the right attention, it will start affecting the rest. Soon we’ll find ourselves out of balance and soon something somewhere will start suffering and breaking. We need to nurture our relationships to keep it in great shape just like our bodies need nourishing or our cars…
I’ve seen it on myself. One particular time of my life I was always ill. Nonstop on some medication, being treated for allergy, asthma, bronchitis, often on antibiotics, cortisones, later started visiting even a private clinic to treat my gynecological troubles caused by strange growths on my uterus and so on. I’d fallen out with my sisters, with some of my friends and neighbours and I generally felt like being an unpleasant person who would look for an occasion to start a discussion or an argument. I just didn’t recognise myself anymore. Feeling always crappy affected everyone around me too. In the past I used to be a bubbly, bubbly jubbly, laughed at every stupid joke, I could party and dance all night long, always smiling and a person people loved in their company… now I was a nuisance even to myself.
But I knew the reason. I knew my problem with all its derivatives was my troubled marriage and my state of mind. I was heartbroken and unhappy, living in a denial. Although I quietly knew it for a long time, I just didn’t know how to handle it. Where to start fixing it. I knew that certain areas of my marriage weren’t functioning but it took me some time to admit it and to stop giving myself excuses. As I denied myself an honesty, I denied it to everyone around me and therefore everything started to fall apart too. And to start healing and to regain the balance, I needed to start facing my own “flat tyre”.
And I can tell that as soon as I removed myself from such ill relationship, first my health started improving and rapidly. Later I’d managed to rebuild my relationship with my sisters and found myself enjoying life again because I was not constantly pissed off anymore. This is not to blame my ex-partner for the failure and as a consequence for the end of our story. It was my responsibility and mine only to take action when I knew things were starting to break off and not leaving it for “tomorrow” or simply thinking problems will disperse themselves without any work. I trust my partner did everything he could and what was in his power to make it work, but as I was probably waiting for him to lift me up, while we were falling deeper and apart instead. I was driving with a flat tyre, so what was I expecting to happen?
Now I know that no one is responsible for me and I am not responsible for anyone else. Everyone is equally responsible for his/her own happiness, success and to make a relationship work a 100%. Not you 50, me 50, each a 100%.
I paid the price. Ok, that’s life. But I have also learned a valuable lesson. Unless you are happy with yourself, no one else can make you happy. Unless you know your worth, no one else can show it to you. Unless you don’t give respect, nobody will respect you either. Unless you give all you have, you can’t expect to receive all. Unless you forgive, you can’t be forgiven and start healing. And whatever bothers you on the person in front of you, it is most probably reflecting your own behavior and responsiveness towards that person.
You need to start from yourself. Change yourself. Change your expectations for actions, change your reactions for responses, give it all you have always, not only when you feel like it, when the other one “deserves it”, always. Being interested in having a great relationship is not enough, it requires a huge commitment. You need to LOVE TOO MUCH. Only then you can truly live well.
Take a deep breath, smile always, be kind, fix what’s broken as soon it breaks, laugh often, love much to LIVE WELL.
I am so grateful for my mentors to have me realise, learn and practice all of this. I am thankful for their vision that resonates with mine and supports my beliefs that sometimes I compromised in the past. It feels amazing to fully believe in my abilities and my future and I am so grateful that the internal and external changes are happening to support me.
A life in balance, love and freedom equals a HAPPY life even if you don’t have a Ferrari. 😉 😉 😉
The FREEDOM LAPTOP LIFESTYLE ENTREPRENEUR (for reason)
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