Give yourself a permission to live your own life and pay a price for living your life.
Don’t search for defining moments because they are already right here and right now.
Sometimes our insecurities or inexperience embrace other people’s expectation, standards or values. But we can use these insecurities to carve out our own path defined by our own particular set of reasons.
People told me that going to live alone with 3 kids and leaving my husband behind was an existential risk, a scary challenge which I would regret. Some of them still think I do regret leaving my charming husband because it’s hard to be a single mother. Yes, it bloody is. I agree. But it didn’t feel like a daring challenge or courage to me, it felt natural at the time as I wanted a new life. I was so oblivious to my own limits that I did things I was unprepared for. I was taking risks I didn’t even realise they were risks. I took upon a job I was unprepared for. I had no idea what was expected of me and how much I would have to learn to sustain it, if I would ever be able to be like my young colleagues, fresh graduates with university degrees, I didn’t have, or being familiar with the latest technology and such environment, that I wasn’t.
I was totally unprepared to be alone in a new city with my 3 young and needy children totally alone, no husband, no parents to run to, no friends, no support, not even a car. That’s the price when you want to be living your life.
I was taking risks again I wasn’t aware of at the time. All I could see was the light and the hope.
I lived unhappy in a marriage for far too long to see any hurdles and obstacles now, they seemed to me like an obvious part of my journey.
Same was when I started my entrepreneurial journey later on. I had never been an entrepreneur before, although I manage to close some good deals that brought us a good profit, in the past. But by now I was used to taking risks, which to me are not risks but rather unnecessary choices we need to take to allow us move forward. I knew why I chose an entrepreneurial path, what a hard work and commitment mean a how the success tastes. I was used to failing so I allowed myself to fail again and again. Failure is a chance to learn faster. You don’t fail, you never learn, you can never succeed. The more you fail, the faster you learn, earn and reach your goals.
I was done with playing safe and live by other people’s rules. I was done with accepting my faith as a standard life of any married couple, I was done with being in a “secure job” which was never secure anyway, I was done with waiting for being ready,
I was ready NOW! Unready really, but ready to give it a go anyway.
I should have been terrified of all these challenges, but I was completely ignorant to my own limitations which might have looked like being overconfident or arrogant.
Half the battle was my belief that I could work things out while I was going through them, while I was learning anything I took upon, the other half was and still is a real hard work, long hours, lack of sleep, no free time and being totally broke. But I knew my WHYs. And why I didn’t want to die with “what ifs”.
As we grow older and get more realistic, we accept our abilities or lack thereof, but that doesn’t do us any favour. I learned to dive into my obliviousness, into my inexperience and try things anyway. I use my courage and a lack of knowledge as an asset which allows me to think in an original way and which pushes me forward.
If you are not pursuing your goals and dreams, you are committing a spiritual suicide. You are your own prisoner. You are a living dead.
No time is right, no one is ever experienced enough, no situation is ideal, no thing is ever perfect! That’s the price for living your life.
You have to jump NOW and as far as you can.
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