From the young age we are taught many things. How to eat, sit, walk, talk, behave in given situations, how to respond, what and how to dress, even what and how to study, etc.
We go to school and we are taught some many different subjects, languages, mathematics, science, biology and so on and on. But… nobody teaches us how to be HAPPY, SUCCESSFUL and FULFILLED.
The three most important things in life.
I was a bit of a rebel at school, I tell you. Not because I was a “bad” kid, I was simply bored!! Do you know that feeling? I bet you do. I was lucky my parents never really impose on us 4 children that the school is the most important thing in life, that you must get great grades in order to succeed one day as it is a bullshit anyway, as having learned something is one thing, having just great grades may not mean a lot. For that I am very grateful to both of them (R.I.P. and God bless both my parents). Whether they knew it why or not, they simply never did. They left the actual choice to us.
But, I am a woman and I wanted to be like my mum. I thought that’s the way you need to be. Do many sacrifices, be able to do everything, be a great mum, great wife, great cook, bake excellent cakes, be the top performer at work, know to do million things at the same time, be entertaining when you are with friend, read a lot to be smart, be skilled with manual works around house, well, simply to be a Cinderella-like at its best. Trying to make everyone happy, helping everyone and just constantly making sacrifices. That’s what I thought was a standard and expected of me one day.
But that one day I realised I couldn’t cook! Gosh, I’ll never be good enough as not only I can’t cook, I can’t bake either. I mean, I do cook almost every day, don’t take me wrong as I have a big family myself, but I am NOT good at it. And I never enjoyed it that much either. My house is never immaculately clean as who cares if it is or not, simply there’s always other more exciting stuff to do than cleaning, like dancing, arguing with my kids or even Facebook is more interesting, right?? 😀
But my mum was my idol. She did everything right apart from that she wasn’t happy herself. While she was trying to make everyone else happy, her children, her husband, neighbours, relatives, colleagues at work, friends and you name it, she was deeply depressed herself. Suffering to stay alive every single day. How could it be? How on earth was that possible?
Many years I spent analysing why and what part of her to adopt and what not and why. And practically the simple reason was she was putting everyone else ahead of her. She didn’t know that like the mask to breathe on airplanes when they tell you to apply in an emergency, “first to put it on yourself, then onto your child”, you need to be safe first before trying to save other. There is a reason for it as strange as it might seem. So she was saving the whole world while she didn’t know how to save herself.
That’s what it was.
To make our world around us happy it is important to be happy with ourselves first. And again, her life and her premature death taught me this valuable lesson: Live for today, be happy, your children will be happy only if you are, your success only comes if you are happy, never the other way round.
I learned how not to dwell on being perfect at all times and try to please everyone as it is just impossible and a waste of time. I stopped caring what other people think of me or what they talk about whether in my presence or behind my back. My happiness, success or fulfillment does not depend on it.
I want to be happy. I want to be successful. I want to be fulfilled. I just don’t want to be perfect.
I want to learn and practice the art of happiness and fulfillment.
That’s the ART that should be taught and performed at schools and practiced at home. The art of happiness and fulfillment. The Art that talks about the future, about the freedom that success and fulfillment can give you, about finding the purpose and happiness. The art of LOVE for FREEDOM and not following the mass in line. The art that tells you it is more than ok to be unique, inventive and different. Not the one that requires you to pigeon-hole yourself, but the one that gives a total freedom of being who you really want to be. BE a happy YOU!
Thank you for taking your time to read it.
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